On-Line and In-Person Safety Tips & Advice

Meeting new people is always fun! However, just to make sure you don't find yourself in an awkward, or even unsafe, situation we would like to offer a few tips for your utmost safety and enjoyment of this site.

Stay SCAM Free

99.9% of the people you meet on WholeEarthFriends.com are honest folks. We also employ a vast series of scam checking systems to keep the unsavory out. However, once in a while, a bad apple slips through our net. Here are some tips to keep yourself scam-free.

PLEASE CONTACT US IF YOU SUSPECT A SCAM - Use the Report Abuse link at the bottom of any page or contact our support staff. We investigate and act! We want to keep our site free of scammers and we reply partly on our members to report suspicious behavior.

1. Common SCAMs
• My daddy was assassinated and left me 20 million dollars. I need a God fearing soul like you to help me transfer this money to a different bank account and I'll give you 20%. (You'll be asked for up-front "documentation" or bribe money. Then your bank account will be drained. )
• I am wonderful, caring, loving, truthful, and I hate liars. (Why do liars always have to tell you this?) Oh, and I happen to be in Nigeria right now on business. Watch out!
• I'm Svetlana. I'm beautiful and I'm in love with you and want to marry you, even though we've never met and exchanged only two e-mails. Can you please send me {$XX for my internet fees, $XX for my rent, $XX for my sick mother, $XX for a plane ticket to meet you, etc.}?
• I urgently need money because {place a heart-wrenching story here}. I have no one else in the world to turn to but you, a stranger whom I've never met and only exchanged two e-mails with.
• I'm working as a volunteer at an orphanage in Africa and the orphanage desperately needs money. We have no where to turn. Can you help? Anything will do. "It's not for me, it's for the children."
• Can you cash some US travelers checks for me and send me back 80% of it? You can keep 20% because I can't cash them in my country. (The travelers checks will be fake. Your bank will invalidate the deposit and you'll be left minus the 80% you already sent to some foreign country. You could also end up in jail for passing fraudulent travelers checks.)


2. RED FLAGS!
   
   1. You've corresponded by e-mail a few times but certain information seems to change, such as where they live, their age, their occupation, or even the spelling of their name!
   2. Direct questions you've asked remain unanswered and you feel you're getting "canned" responses, often telling you what a wonderful unique person you are.
   3. In their first e-mail to you, they give you a heart wrenching story (usually the untimely death of their partner or both parents, leaving them as a single parent or orphan) and end the e-mail oozing with compliments, even though all they know about you is a few sentences from your profile.
   4. They claim to be well educated, yet their grammar/spelling is atrocious! Often some sentences are perfect while others are ridiculous.
   5. They live far away yet are willing to meet you (or ask you to meet them) after only a few e-mails.
   6. They are insistent about switching correspondence quickly to their personal e-mail address or Instant Messenger rather than staying on WholeEarthFriends.com. (If a member is reported for scamming, we can do nothing if we can't read their e-mails! Please keep your correspondence onWholeEarthFriends.com for this reason!)
   7. After a few e-mails your new friend mentions that they are currently out of the country feeding orphans in Africa. (If Africa appears in an e-mail, raise your suspicion level!)
   8. Their photo is breathtakingly handsome or gorgeous and they're interested in you, someone far away and a wildly different age with nothing in common. Realize that maybe it isn't really their photo. Scammers usually steal their photos from modeling sites.
   9. After corresponding, you feel there is no match whatsoever but they remain overly insistent.
   10. They ask for, or hint, for money.
   
   
3. SCAM-Stopper Tips
   1. Do not disclose your e-mail address!!! (Keep all correspondence on WholeEarthFriends.com)
   • Scammers always try to take their conversation off-site very early on, either to a personal e-mail or Instant Messenger. Why - because they know that we (WholeEarthFriends.com) cannot take action against them without verifiable evidence (e-mails).
   • Corresponding through WholeEarthFriends.com's mail system is safe. If a member becomes annoying or unwanted, you can easily block them via the button.
   • In case you wish to report a member, on-site e-mails provide evidence. We cannot act on e-mail outside of WholeEarthFriends.com because correspondence is not verifiable.
   2. Use common sense! If it's too good to be true, perhaps it is.
   3. If your new found friend starts asking for money or financial information... run in the other direction... quickly! Never give money to another member you've never met!
   4. NEVER, EVER disclose your social security number, bank information, or other information that might lead to identity theft.
   5. More resources:
      1. ScamWarners - Click on An Intro to Scams
      2. OnGuard Online - Click Topics, then Email Scams. However the entire site has useful information.

Connecting Tips

1. Go Slow
   
   Get to know someone on-line via several exchanges before you make any commitments to meet.
2. Moderation
   
   Don't tell your whole life's story in your first e-mail. Some people can become overwhelmed with your candor. Instead, reveal a few of the most important things to you and what you're looking for in a mate. If things go well, there will be plenty of time for more details later.
3. Don't reveal Personal Information
   
   Don't disclose your real name, phone number, address, or other personal information until well after you've met in person, perhaps several times, and established a trusting relationship.
4. Look at their Photos!
   
   A photo reveals so much about a person. If they've chosen not to display a photo at WholeEarthFriends.com, ask them why not! Then ask your new friend to upload a photo or two of themselves. Photos can be very revealing about a person.
5. Be Gracious
   
   Perhaps after your first or second correspondence, one of you feels there is no match. Be gracious! Don't express frustration or irritation to the other person. It will only reflect poorly on your character. Instead, move on. There are plenty of people in the world - and not everyone is a match for any one person.
6. Meet in a known public place
   
   If you both decide to meet, make it a well known public location. A location you know nothing about might be in a poor/dangerous neighborhood and should be avoided.